In what with the in crowd?

I've never been cool. I've never felt like I'm one of the crowd - and I've always quite liked that. As a result I guess I'm never sure that because I like something, someone else will. I doubt my gut instinct, even when I know I have to shout about my work to others. I'm looking for the USP of my paintings, but the only thing that seems to link them is me. I like to distort the world and recreate it precisely; I like to roam in imaginary worlds, and I have a childish sense of humour; I'm a snob and a rebel and I like the highbrow and absurd. I figure this is tricky to sell. My biography is busy, but resolutely middle class, and I'm at my best when... well I'm not sure - though I think I may have a glass in my hand.

If anything my paintings are trying to work me out, and work out the world around me - sometimes explicitly but I fear, with me, much of the reveal is in the sub-text - what I hide beneath the action in the background, or in what I haven't painted. So telling someone why they need my work - why they want it, is a problem: because it complements a sofa, or reminds them of a childhood holiday, or stirs a memory, all of these are in the eye of the cash-holder.

So I look at my paintings and try to work out who will like which one, which painting will fulfil this or that brief - decoration, focal point, relaxation for the eye, or big noise on the wall? And to an extent I can step back: I can say the lines are busier here, this is more traditional, these colours are less harsh, this is funny and so on. The truth though is that I have a connection to them all. Paintings I've just finished worry me because they haven't settled in my mind; those from a while ago that I was doubtful about turn around and surprise me with the freshness of being seen whole for the first time. 

I put my work into themes and categories, but these always seem to end up like a game of twister, with the left foot on red, my hand on blue and my face planted in the yellow

Bur despite my nagging doubts you know something? I do think they're good. I like them.