People are hedgehogs. Any social gathering is like Lego, but with hedgehogs. That is to say bits and pieces stick together (or in), but there are many more random spines that prick and stick out making the structure more complicated than before (Imagine the model of the double helix, but instead of the balls they used for the element you have hedgehogs - now not so elegant and twisty, more anarchic and disjointed.).
I like hedgehogs - they like to sleep, are insanely drawn to motor vehicles and roads, forage where they can and are spikey. Much like humans. I like Lego. You can build it to plan, but it's much more fun and expressive if you build from instinct and experience and create the solutions to your own problems (Rather than waiting for a new set that has a piece that solves the problem for you. Pah!). Much like social gatherings. Still, I'm not sure the two go coherently together. Though that could be half the fun?
After all social gatherings are opportunities to be social, and by definition that runs the gamut from polite tea party to an EastEnders style drunken slanging match - and many's the time they begin as one and finish as the other (often through a well placed hip flask). Organising them requires forethought, patience, skill, organisation and delegation as well as, often, a group or committee. Criteria designed to bring out the control freak in anyone - especially me.
Hello, this is my control freak - I keep him in the cupboard under the stairs, but he will get out. My control freak likes to see to the end step by step and will become unruly when uncertain - although he has been known to hibernate when threatened, as a silent protest... or sulk. Quite frankly my control freak is a pain, he is often so concerned with the exact running of a gathering, that he is unable to enjoy the damn thing (though in adulthood I have found alcohol can subdue him for a time, however this generally results in memory loss and being sick somewhere.).
So is there a secret, an answer? I'm not sure, but I think I should start with an acceptance of what can be achieved, and a happiness to do that without a sense that it's not as good as it should've been. And then I need to settle into an enjoyment of watching the hedgehogs build their new structure - it many be glorious, or it might be a huge sticky bur clump; either way it should be fun.
Now if I can just get those hedgehogs to keep still, I just need to put in the final piec... Ow!